Being plus size

People always shame plus size people when they don’t realize, we shame ourselves enough for the both of us. I’ve never been thin my entire life and I know I never will be, but I have had “thinner” moments. I remember at 16 dropping 40 pounds and feeling on top of the world. Yet I was still called fat by my peers all the time. Now at 24 I am the heaviest I’ve ever been and it feels like the weight just keeps adding. I don’t eat more than I did a year ago. I don’t move less than I did a year ago, but the weight is just packing on no matter what. It’s not my thyroid (as I wished as a teen so badly wanting an answer to my being overweight) it’s just how I am. Living in a society where making fun of plus size people is normal is hard. Log into Facebook or other social media and see pictures like “tag john if he’d hit that” or “I was with Ben last night” on plus size women. We’re made as a joke, like we sit at home and just eat 24/7 and love being fat. I’m ready for a change. I don’t even want to be skinny, but I want to feel beautiful and healthy in my skin every day. I want society to stop shaming women and men based on the size of their waist.

I’m ready for a change. I just recently joined a gym with a couple friends who have gone for a bit. I cut pop out of my diet and started eating healthier the past week or so ( and still put on five pounds). I’m going to change my life one day at a time. The hardest part of it is waking up in the morning and going. Once I get to the gym I love it. I’m out of the house child free and I’m having adult conversations. I’m pushing myself and feeling better about myself. I don’t need others to think I’m beautiful, as long as I feel good and I’m healthy I’ll be happy. 

Here’s to new beginnings… giving up is no longer an option.

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